Perhaps this isn't a good time to be making big decisions. But I seem to have inadvertently made one anyway.
I had a chat with someone at uni last week and at the end of the conversation the outcome seemed to be that I had decided to do a Phd.
According to myself, I loved doing the research on brain development and trauma so much that I've decided to wade into the mire once more and go even deeper.
Oh well, why the hell not. The timeline for having a long and illustrious career in a field that would give me an honorary doctorate has pretty much passed me by.
If I'm ever going to get anyone to call me 'doctor', a Phd looks like the only way.
It's a big call. And I'll need to get some words down and get my head around it to make sure that deciding to undertake a Phd is not just an over-reaction to the devastating rejection.
Stay tuned...
PS if anyone is willing to offer me an honorary doctorate, now would be a good time.
25 May 2009
21 May 2009
Rejection recovery
It's a week since I got that rejection that devastated me and I've had a chance to cry about it and talk to my friends about it and slowly I'm getting some perspective on it.
I think it's a good idea for me to leave the manuscript alone for a while; not look at it and not submit it anywhere else. I need to get some distance from the manuscript and the whole project. Maybe by the end of the year I'll be able to get some objectivity about it and look at doing another rewrite. I could get another manuscript assessment done but there's probably not a lot that would achieve, especially as I have the examiners' comments to work with.
So for now, at least, Girl in the Shadows will remain tucked away from sight while I get my head around the reasons why I write and whether or not they are enough to keep me going.
I think it's a good idea for me to leave the manuscript alone for a while; not look at it and not submit it anywhere else. I need to get some distance from the manuscript and the whole project. Maybe by the end of the year I'll be able to get some objectivity about it and look at doing another rewrite. I could get another manuscript assessment done but there's probably not a lot that would achieve, especially as I have the examiners' comments to work with.
So for now, at least, Girl in the Shadows will remain tucked away from sight while I get my head around the reasons why I write and whether or not they are enough to keep me going.
14 May 2009
At a cross roads
I've just got another rejection for Girl in the Shadows - the second in a couple of weeks. At least this one had some encouraging words to say, but it really has put me in a position where I need to rethink what I'm doing as a writer.
I've been working at a writing career for 10 years now, with only minor success. I worked really hard at Girl in the Shadows; it's the best writing I can do. It's probably good writing, maybe even very good. But the fact is that it's not good enough.
That's a really difficult thing to come to terms with as a writer - the fact that your work is not good enough for publication. I'm feeling pretty raw about it at the moment and right now my feeling is to just give up on the hope of getting a publisher for this manuscript. Maybe I'll try again in 6 or 12 months, or maybe I won't.
I need some time to step back from the whole writing dream. Rethink my goals. And give myself some time to get over it.
I've been working at a writing career for 10 years now, with only minor success. I worked really hard at Girl in the Shadows; it's the best writing I can do. It's probably good writing, maybe even very good. But the fact is that it's not good enough.
That's a really difficult thing to come to terms with as a writer - the fact that your work is not good enough for publication. I'm feeling pretty raw about it at the moment and right now my feeling is to just give up on the hope of getting a publisher for this manuscript. Maybe I'll try again in 6 or 12 months, or maybe I won't.
I need some time to step back from the whole writing dream. Rethink my goals. And give myself some time to get over it.
7 May 2009
I hate rejections!
Every writer knows that rejections are part and parcel of the publishing world. But that doesn't make you feel any better when you get one. Especially when the rejection is essentially a rote note written on a scrap of paper (okay, maybe not a scrap of paper but one of those crappy 'with compliments' type notes).
Maybe it's just me, but I think if you've taken the time and effort to make a professional submission, the other party should at least bother to write their rejection on a full size A4 letter. And sign their name legibly.
Perhaps they think they're doing their bit for saving the environment by using little bitty scraps of paper for rejections rather than an A4 piece of paper. There could be an argument for that. But if that was the case, I'd rather have a polite email & then there would be no paper wastage at all.
Well, enough ranting from me. Time to get back to writing.
Maybe it's just me, but I think if you've taken the time and effort to make a professional submission, the other party should at least bother to write their rejection on a full size A4 letter. And sign their name legibly.
Perhaps they think they're doing their bit for saving the environment by using little bitty scraps of paper for rejections rather than an A4 piece of paper. There could be an argument for that. But if that was the case, I'd rather have a polite email & then there would be no paper wastage at all.
Well, enough ranting from me. Time to get back to writing.
30 March 2009
A master at last (almost)
I've passed my masters - yay!
I still have to do a few minor updates to it but I've officially passed. I was really happy with the examiners' comments both for the manuscript and the exegesis.
One examiner described Girl in the Shadows as "an engaging and well-paced work with credible characters, convincing thematic development, written in a style which was both clear and yet suggestively obtuse in parts, and with plenty of suspense with which to maintain the reader's interest."
The other examiner said "The writing has a lovely fluidity about it and the atmosphere is created very vividly. The dialogue is especially strong and the conversations between Mal and her mother are very good. I also think the relationship between the teenage girls is well constructed."
As my daughter would say "Go me!" :)
I'm really happy with the outcome. And although the masters was a lot (and I mean A Lot) of work, I'm a much better writer for having done it. Doing all the research, as painful as it was sometimes, really paid off for me.
Now all I have to do is find a publisher...
I still have to do a few minor updates to it but I've officially passed. I was really happy with the examiners' comments both for the manuscript and the exegesis.
One examiner described Girl in the Shadows as "an engaging and well-paced work with credible characters, convincing thematic development, written in a style which was both clear and yet suggestively obtuse in parts, and with plenty of suspense with which to maintain the reader's interest."
The other examiner said "The writing has a lovely fluidity about it and the atmosphere is created very vividly. The dialogue is especially strong and the conversations between Mal and her mother are very good. I also think the relationship between the teenage girls is well constructed."
As my daughter would say "Go me!" :)
I'm really happy with the outcome. And although the masters was a lot (and I mean A Lot) of work, I'm a much better writer for having done it. Doing all the research, as painful as it was sometimes, really paid off for me.
Now all I have to do is find a publisher...
7 February 2009
Home stretch
Although it appears I abandoned this blog months ago, it's probably worthwhile noting that I'm finally about to submit my masters research for examination. Yep, not only did I finish the manuscript, but I actually managed to write & finish the exegesis (short thesis).
In September last year I thought it would never be done. My research & my manuscript had taken me in an entirely different direction from when I first started my master's work. Jung's shadow was no longer even relevant.
Instead, my focus was now on resilience and coping strategies in teenagers, as well as mental illness and the impact of trauma on brain development.
I'd travelled a long way in my work but it was an incredibly interesting (although at times painful) journey.
But the work is now done & it's time to put it to the test & see if it's worthy of a master's degree. Then of course the next step is finding a publisher!
In September last year I thought it would never be done. My research & my manuscript had taken me in an entirely different direction from when I first started my master's work. Jung's shadow was no longer even relevant.
Instead, my focus was now on resilience and coping strategies in teenagers, as well as mental illness and the impact of trauma on brain development.
I'd travelled a long way in my work but it was an incredibly interesting (although at times painful) journey.
But the work is now done & it's time to put it to the test & see if it's worthy of a master's degree. Then of course the next step is finding a publisher!
26 July 2008
Time to start the thesis
My manuscript should be lying somewhere in a big pile of manuscripts at Text Publishing by now. I agonised over the synopsis and ended up changing it at the last minute and now I'm too chicken to go back and look at it again in case I see a big, ugly mistake staring out at me. It's gone now & that's that.
So now I have no excuse for not starting on my 'exegesis' (or thesis in normal language). I'm meeting with my supervisor next week to discuss it because to be honest I can't even remember what I'm supposed to write. Not only that, I haven't yet made a final decision on what other YA novels I'll discuss in relation to my own work. I have to choose at least one, preferably two. Last year I'd decided that I was going to use Surrender by Sonya Hartnett and Tulip Touch by Anne Fine. But I've been reading a fair bit of YA stuff lately and I'm wondering if they are the best choices.
Both Surrender and Tulip Touch feature characters who definitely have 'issues'. But other novel's I've read this year, including Freaky Green Eyes by Carol Joyce Oates and Solo by Alyssa Brugman are perhaps more in tune with my style of writing and the overall tone of Girl in the Shadows.
I think I'll just do some more reading in the genre and see what other gems I can find before I make my final choice.
So now I have no excuse for not starting on my 'exegesis' (or thesis in normal language). I'm meeting with my supervisor next week to discuss it because to be honest I can't even remember what I'm supposed to write. Not only that, I haven't yet made a final decision on what other YA novels I'll discuss in relation to my own work. I have to choose at least one, preferably two. Last year I'd decided that I was going to use Surrender by Sonya Hartnett and Tulip Touch by Anne Fine. But I've been reading a fair bit of YA stuff lately and I'm wondering if they are the best choices.
Both Surrender and Tulip Touch feature characters who definitely have 'issues'. But other novel's I've read this year, including Freaky Green Eyes by Carol Joyce Oates and Solo by Alyssa Brugman are perhaps more in tune with my style of writing and the overall tone of Girl in the Shadows.
I think I'll just do some more reading in the genre and see what other gems I can find before I make my final choice.
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