Perhaps this isn't a good time to be making big decisions. But I seem to have inadvertently made one anyway.
I had a chat with someone at uni last week and at the end of the conversation the outcome seemed to be that I had decided to do a Phd.
According to myself, I loved doing the research on brain development and trauma so much that I've decided to wade into the mire once more and go even deeper.
Oh well, why the hell not. The timeline for having a long and illustrious career in a field that would give me an honorary doctorate has pretty much passed me by.
If I'm ever going to get anyone to call me 'doctor', a Phd looks like the only way.
It's a big call. And I'll need to get some words down and get my head around it to make sure that deciding to undertake a Phd is not just an over-reaction to the devastating rejection.
Stay tuned...
PS if anyone is willing to offer me an honorary doctorate, now would be a good time.
25 May 2009
21 May 2009
Rejection recovery
It's a week since I got that rejection that devastated me and I've had a chance to cry about it and talk to my friends about it and slowly I'm getting some perspective on it.
I think it's a good idea for me to leave the manuscript alone for a while; not look at it and not submit it anywhere else. I need to get some distance from the manuscript and the whole project. Maybe by the end of the year I'll be able to get some objectivity about it and look at doing another rewrite. I could get another manuscript assessment done but there's probably not a lot that would achieve, especially as I have the examiners' comments to work with.
So for now, at least, Girl in the Shadows will remain tucked away from sight while I get my head around the reasons why I write and whether or not they are enough to keep me going.
I think it's a good idea for me to leave the manuscript alone for a while; not look at it and not submit it anywhere else. I need to get some distance from the manuscript and the whole project. Maybe by the end of the year I'll be able to get some objectivity about it and look at doing another rewrite. I could get another manuscript assessment done but there's probably not a lot that would achieve, especially as I have the examiners' comments to work with.
So for now, at least, Girl in the Shadows will remain tucked away from sight while I get my head around the reasons why I write and whether or not they are enough to keep me going.
14 May 2009
At a cross roads
I've just got another rejection for Girl in the Shadows - the second in a couple of weeks. At least this one had some encouraging words to say, but it really has put me in a position where I need to rethink what I'm doing as a writer.
I've been working at a writing career for 10 years now, with only minor success. I worked really hard at Girl in the Shadows; it's the best writing I can do. It's probably good writing, maybe even very good. But the fact is that it's not good enough.
That's a really difficult thing to come to terms with as a writer - the fact that your work is not good enough for publication. I'm feeling pretty raw about it at the moment and right now my feeling is to just give up on the hope of getting a publisher for this manuscript. Maybe I'll try again in 6 or 12 months, or maybe I won't.
I need some time to step back from the whole writing dream. Rethink my goals. And give myself some time to get over it.
I've been working at a writing career for 10 years now, with only minor success. I worked really hard at Girl in the Shadows; it's the best writing I can do. It's probably good writing, maybe even very good. But the fact is that it's not good enough.
That's a really difficult thing to come to terms with as a writer - the fact that your work is not good enough for publication. I'm feeling pretty raw about it at the moment and right now my feeling is to just give up on the hope of getting a publisher for this manuscript. Maybe I'll try again in 6 or 12 months, or maybe I won't.
I need some time to step back from the whole writing dream. Rethink my goals. And give myself some time to get over it.
7 May 2009
I hate rejections!
Every writer knows that rejections are part and parcel of the publishing world. But that doesn't make you feel any better when you get one. Especially when the rejection is essentially a rote note written on a scrap of paper (okay, maybe not a scrap of paper but one of those crappy 'with compliments' type notes).
Maybe it's just me, but I think if you've taken the time and effort to make a professional submission, the other party should at least bother to write their rejection on a full size A4 letter. And sign their name legibly.
Perhaps they think they're doing their bit for saving the environment by using little bitty scraps of paper for rejections rather than an A4 piece of paper. There could be an argument for that. But if that was the case, I'd rather have a polite email & then there would be no paper wastage at all.
Well, enough ranting from me. Time to get back to writing.
Maybe it's just me, but I think if you've taken the time and effort to make a professional submission, the other party should at least bother to write their rejection on a full size A4 letter. And sign their name legibly.
Perhaps they think they're doing their bit for saving the environment by using little bitty scraps of paper for rejections rather than an A4 piece of paper. There could be an argument for that. But if that was the case, I'd rather have a polite email & then there would be no paper wastage at all.
Well, enough ranting from me. Time to get back to writing.
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